Exemplar Coaching

Live by Design, Not by Default.

CoffeeChat 75 – Willing

Edition  75

Willing

Last Edition Recap
How have you applied the last edition to your life?
Opening Prayer
Lord, make us willing to be fully engaged with Your perfect and holy will. Amen.
Introduction
Grab a scribing tool (pen) and take a moment for brutal honesty in rating yourself below on a scale of 1 (unwilling) to 5 (willing):
  • The attitude I want others to have when I need them: _____
  • The attitude I want the church to have when I need it: _____
  • The attitude I want others to have when I ask for forgiveness: _____
  • The attitude I want God to have when I need Him: _____
Now rate these:
  • The attitude I have toward others when they need me: _____
  • The attitude I have when the church needs my help: _____
  • The attitude I have when I must forgive those who hurt me: _____
  • The attitude I have when God needs me: _____
Add up questions 1-4, then questions 5-8. The gap between what we want and what we give reveals an uncomfortable truth about willingness.
A willing heart makes all the difference. When we’re willing to do something, we may lack expertise, training, knowledge, even the foggiest idea how to proceed. But filled with willingness, we choose to participate anyway, thinking, “I’ll figure it out as I go.” Sometimes we find ourselves pleasantly surprised by what emerges from our simple yes.
In contrast, unwillingness means we couldn’t be bothered, have zero interest, won’t even consider participating. We become unmovable objects, resistant to any invitation beyond our comfort zone. The tragedy is that unwillingness doesn’t just affect us – it creates gaps where God intended bridges, absences where He planned presence, silence where He orchestrated symphony.
Chat Point 1
  1. How would you describe the emotional difference between receiving willing help versus reluctant assistance?
  2. What fears or past experiences create unwillingness in your heart toward certain types of service?
  3. How does the gap between what you want from others and what you give to others challenge you spiritually?
  4. What connections do you see between willingness and love in practical daily life?
  5. How might your faith community transform if everyone shifted just one point higher on the willingness scale?
Read
Exodus 35:4 – 36:5; Luke 22:42; Psalm 51:12
Key Focus
Psalm 51:12 – “Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.”
Chat Point 2
  1. What stood out for you about the Israelites’ overwhelming willingness to give for the tabernacle?
  2. How does Jesus’ prayer “not my will, but yours” redefine what willingness means for believers?
  3. What parallels do you see between David’s prayer for a willing spirit and your own spiritual struggles?
  4. How do modern Christians compare to those Israelites who gave so freely that Moses had to stop them?
  5. What responsibility do we have for generating willingness in ourselves versus waiting for God to create it?
Final Thought
Michael Novak wrote, “Love is not a feeling of happiness. Love is a willingness to sacrifice.” This truth cuts through our comfortable Christianity like a surgeon’s blade. We want others to sacrifice for us – rated 5 on willingness when we need them. We want God perpetually willing – available, responsive, generous. Yet when the tables turn, our willingness often drops to 2 or 3. We need convincing. We’re undecided. We’re somewhat interested, maybe.
The Exodus account staggers the imagination. The Israelites brought so many offerings for the tabernacle that Moses had to command them to stop. They didn’t give leftovers or spare change; they brought their best with such enthusiasm that the craftsmen were overwhelmed. Their willingness overflowed like a dam burst. When last did any church have to tell its congregation, “Stop giving! We have too much!”?
But the ultimate picture of willingness kneels in Gethsemane. “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.” Jesus prayed this hours before His murder. Every lash of the whip – willingness. Every thorn pressed into His skull – willingness. Every nail driven through flesh – willingness. The Father was willing to let His Son suffer for your sin. The Son was willing to obey for your salvation.
David understood that willingness isn’t natural to the fallen heart. That’s why he prayed for God to “grant me a willing spirit.” He knew that sustainable service flows from restored joy, and restored joy produces willing spirits. Without that divine grant of willingness, we become the very people we despise – those who take but don’t give, who expect but don’t extend, who demand sacrifice but won’t sacrifice.
The arithmetic is simple but devastating. If you scored higher on “I want” than “I am,” you’re living in willingness deficit. You’re withdrawing more than you’re depositing. You’re expecting from others what you’re unwilling to give. The God who gave everything for you is working through people who need exactly what you need – willing hearts ready to serve, quick to forgive, eager to help.
The question isn’t whether you have the skills, knowledge, or expertise. The question is whether you’re willing. Because God has proven throughout history that He can do more with willing amateurs than with reluctant professionals. Your willingness, not your ability, is the key that unlocks your usefulness in the Kingdom.
My Action
What key insight or learning from this session resonates most with me, and what do I sense God is inviting me to do in response?
Shared Prayer
What are your prayer requests?​
Closing Prayer
Lord, Your willingness to do whatever it took for my soul is deeply humbling; let my life be a service of willingness to Your commands. Amen.
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In-Between Chats: Personal Reflection
  1. What specific area of service are you resisting where God might be calling you to shift from unwilling to willing?
  2. How can you close the gap between what you expect from others and what you’re willing to give?
  3. What practical step will you take this week to cultivate a willing spirit in one area where you’ve been reluctant?
Edition Writer: Rev Kevin Zondagh

Methodist Minister, Personal Development Specialist, Life Coach, Relationship Coach and Executive Coach. Founder and Owner of Exemplar Coaching Pty Ltd and CoffeeChatConnect. "We should have the desire to custom design the only life we have. After-all, we buy designer everything. How much more should we Live by Design, not by default?"