Exemplar Coaching

Live by Design, Not by Default.

CoffeeChat 50 – Model

Edition  50

Model

Last Edition Recap
How have you applied the last edition to your life?
Opening Prayer
Father God, You sent Jesus as the perfect model for how to live; help us to follow His example and become models worth imitating for those watching our lives. Amen.
Introduction
Two teachers at the same school. Ms. Anderson arrives early, greets everyone warmly, stays late helping struggling students, never gossips in the staffroom, admits her mistakes openly. Mr. Davies arrives just on time, complains constantly, scrolls his phone during meetings, mocks difficult students behind their backs, blames everyone else when things go wrong. New teacher starts. Guess who she unconsciously begins to imitate? Within months, she’s either staying late to help students or scrolling through social media during faculty meetings. We become what we watch. A generation raised on TikTok influencers learns that worth comes from views, success from scandal, identity from likes. They follow models who model nothing worth following—people famous for being famous, wealthy from being outrageous, influential through manufacturing drama. Meanwhile, Christians blend in, hide their light, live privately faithful lives publicly invisible. We’ve confused humility with invisibility, meekness with silence. Paul wasn’t silent. He worked with his hands not because he had to but to model self-sufficiency. He lived transparently not for attention but for imitation. “Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ,” he said boldly. Today’s young people desperately need models—not perfect people but transparent ones. Not influencers selling products but believers demonstrating purpose. Not curated lives but authentic faith. The question isn’t whether you’re a model—someone is watching. The question is what you’re modelling.
Chat Point 1
  1. Who was a positive model in your life, and what specific behaviours did you adopt from them?
  2. Who was a negative influence you witnessed, and what did that teach you NOT to do?
  3. Why do people naturally imitate others even without conscious intention?
  4. What ungodly models are today’s youth following, and why are they so appealing?
  5. How have Christians confused being humble with being invisible role models?
Read
2 Thessalonians 3:6-15
Key Focus
2 Thessalonians 3:9 – “We did this, not because we do not have the right to such help, but in order to offer ourselves as a model for you to imitate.”
Chat Point 2
  1. What stood out about Paul deliberately choosing hardship to set an example?
  2. Why did Paul work with his hands when he had the right to be supported?
  3. How does “whoever is unwilling to work shall not eat” relate to being a model?
  4. What’s the difference between being a social media influencer and being a godly model?
  5. How can we live as models worth imitating without falling into pride or performance?
Final Thought
Paul could have demanded support. Apostle’s rights. Gospel worker’s wages. Instead, he made tents. Not because he enjoyed manual labour after preaching all day. Not because the church was poor. But “in order to offer ourselves as a model for you to imitate.” He chose to model industry over idleness, self-sufficiency over entitlement, service over status. Today’s “models” model consumption, not contribution. They showcase what they have, not who they are. They influence purchases, not principles. They create followers, not disciples. A generation watches, searching for something real, someone worth becoming. They find manufactured authenticity, staged spontaneity, filtered reality. Where are the models who work with integrity when no one’s filming? Who serve without posting about it? Who fail and admit it, struggle and persist, believe and live it? You are being watched. By your children, colleagues, neighbours. By a generation starving for authentic models whilst gorging on artificial influencers. They don’t need your perfection—they need your process. Not your highlights—your integrity. Not your success—your faithfulness. “Keep away from every believer who is idle,” Paul warns. Not because idleness is just laziness but because it models the wrong message: that faith is passive, Christianity is comfortable, following Jesus requires nothing. Model something different. Model discipline. Model service. Model what it looks like to follow Christ in real time, real life, real struggle. Someone is watching. What are you teaching them?
My Action
What key insight or learning from this session resonates most with me, and what do I sense God is inviting me to do in response?
Shared Prayer
What are your prayer requests?​
Closing Prayer
Lord Jesus, You modelled perfect love and service; help us model You so clearly that others see You through our lives and want to follow. Amen.
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In-Between Chats: Personal Reflection
  1. Who is silently watching your life right now, and what are they learning from your model?
  2. What specific ungodly influence in your life needs to be replaced with godly modelling?
  3. How will you intentionally model one aspect of Christian living this week for someone to imitate?​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​
Edition Writer: Rev Kevin Zondagh

Methodist Minister, Personal Development Specialist, Life Coach, Relationship Coach and Executive Coach. Founder and Owner of Exemplar Coaching Pty Ltd and CoffeeChatConnect. "We should have the desire to custom design the only life we have. After-all, we buy designer everything. How much more should we Live by Design, not by default?"