Exemplar Coaching

Live by Design, Not by Default.

CoffeeChat 38 – Trust or Control

Edition  38

Trust or Control

Last Edition Recap
How have you applied the last edition to your life?
Opening Prayer
Perfect God, Your ways are not our ways, Your plans are not our plans; teach us the value of trusting You with our lives and help us to develop that trust in You. Amen.
Introduction
Test yourself: Many people claim to trust God with everything, yet they’ll skip church when it’s not their favourite preacher, band, or music. This controlling action enforces their lack of trust. They’d rather go somewhere else instead of placing trust in God’s perfect plan. They listen to emotions instead of relying on God’s wisdom for their soul’s growth. Instead of submitting to God, they elevate themselves above God, making themselves the “god who knows best.” When you truly place God first, you’ll embrace those things He’s planned to develop your spirituality. When someone truly trusts God for their soul, they’ll say, “It may not be MY ideal situation, but God is in control and I must trust His plan for me.” Martin Luther described three levels of conversion: “First, there is conversion of the mind. Then there is conversion of the heart. Finally, and this is the most difficult, there is conversion of the wallet.” The wallet represents the deepest level of trust—where we release control over what we value most. Picture a scale: on one end YOU (control), on the other GOD (trust). Where you position yourself reveals your spiritual reality. Moving closer to YOU equals more control over yourself, less trust in God. Moving closer to GOD equals more trust in God, less control over yourself. The question isn’t whether you say you trust God—it’s whether you actually do.
Chat Point 1
Complete this True or False exercise individually first, then share:
  1. You have control over every situation?
  2. God wants the best for you?
  3. You know what is best for you?
  4. God can control every situation?
  5. You know what is best for your soul? (Continue through all 15 questions, then discuss differences in answers)
Read
Exodus 20:3, Proverbs 3:5-12, Matthew 6:19-34
Key Focus
Exodus 20:3 – “You shall have no other gods before me.”
Chat Point 2
  1. Looking at the Trust/Control scale, which direction should we move and why?
  2. On which of Luther’s three levels of conversion are you honestly—mind, heart, or wallet?
  3. How does your conversion level relate to your trust/control balance?
  4. What happens when we take control and move away from trusting God?
  5. What happens when we trust God and allow Him to control our lives?
Final Thought
The scale doesn’t lie. Every decision moves you toward control or trust. When you control, you become your own god—deciding what’s best, when to worship, how to grow. When you trust, you submit to God’s wisdom even when it contradicts your preferences. God will position you in uncomfortable situations to alert you to what He intends for developing your spirituality. When that happens, it’s not for you to escape it. It’s for you to embrace it by relinquishing control, placing trust in God, and letting Him control your formation. The person who skips church because they don’t like the preacher reveals they trust their judgment over God’s placement. The person who stays, saying “This may not be MY ideal situation, but God is in control,” demonstrates actual trust. Luther’s three levels expose the progression: we trust God with our thoughts (mind), then feelings (heart), but struggle to trust Him with what we value most (wallet/control). True spiritual maturity isn’t claiming trust whilst maintaining control. It’s releasing the steering wheel entirely. Trust God with your soul and submit to His plans, not yours. Remain faithful to where He has planted you and you will grow.
My Action
What key insight or learning from this session resonates most with me, and what do I sense God is inviting me to do in response?
Shared Prayer
What are your prayer requests?​
Closing Prayer
God, having You control our lives is much better than us trying to control them; help us humble ourselves and hand over control into Your hands. Amen.
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In-Between Chats: Personal Reflection
  1. Write down the things that prevent your exposure to God’s perfect plan for you.
  2. How do you intend to stop controlling and start doing more of what God wants?
  3. In what specific area this week will you choose trust over control?
Edition Writer: Rev Kevin Zondagh

Methodist Minister, Personal Development Specialist, Life Coach, Relationship Coach and Executive Coach. Founder and Owner of Exemplar Coaching Pty Ltd and CoffeeChatConnect. "We should have the desire to custom design the only life we have. After-all, we buy designer everything. How much more should we Live by Design, not by default?"