Exemplar Coaching

Live by Design, Not by Default.

CoffeeChat 31 – Blame

Edition  31

Blame

Last Edition Recap
How have you applied the last edition to your life?
Opening Prayer
Loving God, whenever something goes wrong, people are quick to blame You; help us see the truth of evil and respond accordingly. Amen.
Introduction
Anyone who’s watched Jerry Springer knows the script. Guy meets girl, flirts, says all the right things—except he’s married. They date. Then comes the show. Confession to Jerry. Wife brought onstage. Betrayal revealed. Girlfriend brought out. More betrayal exposed. Three people on stage: the cheating man, his devastated wife, his shocked girlfriend. Logic says both women should attack the man who betrayed them. Instead, the bizarre phenomenon: the two innocent women ferociously attack each other, hurling venomous language whilst the guilty instigator—the devilish traitor himself—stands back watching them blame each other. All logic dictates they should have attacked him. After all, it was all his fault. This is Satan’s playbook. He causes trouble, pain, hurt, with one objective: turning us against God, then watching us blame God when bad things happen. Satan cheats God, tricks us into sin, then enjoys the show as we rage against the innocent party. “The blame is his who chooses; God is blameless,” the image declares. Yet we keep playing Jerry Springer with our souls—fighting the wrong enemy whilst the real culprit watches. Billy Sunday warned: “If you don’t do your part, don’t blame God.” But we do. We sin, bear the fruit, then shake our fist at heaven. Meanwhile, Satan stands back, enjoying the show.
Chat Point 1
  1. Do you know anyone blaming God for something someone else did, and why do they do this?
  2. When bad things happen, why is our first instinct often to blame God rather than examine other causes?
  3. How does Satan benefit when we blame God instead of recognising evil’s true source?
  4. What parallels exist between the Jerry Springer scenario and our spiritual conflicts?
  5. In what ways have you personally blamed the wrong party for problems in your life?
Read
James 1:13-22, Proverbs 19:3, 1 Peter 5:8, Proverbs 3:5-6, Ephesians 6:10-20
Key Focus
Proverbs 19:3 – “A person’s own folly leads to their ruin, yet their heart rages against the LORD.”
Chat Point 2
  1. What stood out for you about how our own folly leads to ruin yet we rage against God?
  2. Why does Satan want to “play” us against God and one another?
  3. According to James 1:22, why isn’t listening to God’s Word enough without doing what it says?
  4. How does James 1:14-15 show that the devil doesn’t make us sin but tempts us until we sin?
  5. What would change if Christians stopped blaming God and started resisting the actual enemy?
Final Thought
When we sin, we bear the fruit of our sin. When consequences come, we cannot blame God. We need to take responsibility for responding to temptation’s flirting to the point of “dating” our sin. If every person resisted all temptation, no evil acts would occur because no one would sin. The devil doesn’t make us sin; he tempts us until we sin. James makes it clear: each person is dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then desire gives birth to sin, and sin gives birth to death. God doesn’t tempt anyone. He’s the giver of every good and perfect gift. Yet when our folly leads to ruin, our hearts rage against the LORD—exactly what Satan intended. We need to develop obedience to Christ: “Submit yourselves to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you” (James 4:7). Stop attacking the innocent party. Stop playing Satan’s game. The Jerry Springer audience chants for conflict, for blame, for fighting the wrong enemy. But wisdom says: identify the real culprit. Satan is the instigator, the tempter, the accuser. God is the protector, the provider, the way out. Choose your opponent wisely.
My Action
What key insight or learning from this session resonates most with me, and what do I sense God is inviting me to do in response?
Shared Prayer
What are your prayer requests?​
Closing Prayer
God of all good things, forgive us for blaming You for the consequences of our sins; make us hungry for Your truth. Amen.
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In-Between Chats: Personal Reflection
  1. What specific situation are you currently blaming God for that might actually be Satan’s work or your own choices?
  2. How can you practically apply Ephesians 6:10-20’s spiritual armour to resist the real enemy?
  3. What responsibility do you need to take this week instead of blaming God or others?
Edition Writer: Rev Kevin Zondagh

Methodist Minister, Personal Development Specialist, Life Coach, Relationship Coach and Executive Coach. Founder and Owner of Exemplar Coaching Pty Ltd and CoffeeChatConnect. "We should have the desire to custom design the only life we have. After-all, we buy designer everything. How much more should we Live by Design, not by default?"