Welcome,
brave couple.
If you have opened this together, you have already done something many couples never quite get around to: you have paused. Take the next thirty minutes to listen — properly — to the most important relationship in your life.
You are not alone in this
Every couple, without exception, goes through seasons. The struggle to stay connected through life’s relentless rhythm is not a sign that something is wrong with you. It is a sign that you are human, and that your relationship is alive enough to be affected by life.
What the research consistently shows:
- Around 70–75% of couples who engage with a trained coach or therapist report meaningful improvement in their relationship — with approaches such as the Gottman Method and Emotionally Focused Therapy showing the strongest, most lasting outcomes.
- Dr John Gottman's research found that couples often live with unhappiness for an average of six years before reaching out. Half of all marriages that end, end within the first seven. The cost of waiting is real.
- Studies on "phubbing" (phone-snubbing) show that the mere presence of a phone on the table reduces felt closeness, and that screen interruptions consistently predict lower relationship and life satisfaction.
- Couples who seek help before crisis hits have significantly better outcomes than those who wait until they're already considering separation.
Investing in your marriage is not what you do when something is broken. It is what you do because something is precious. This Snapshot will give you a clear, honest picture of where you are right now — your Strengths and your Growth Areas — so you can decide what comes next from a place of clarity, not panic.
How to take this honestly
Take it separately, first
Each of you should complete this on your own, without discussing your answers along the way. Looking over each other's shoulder, or softening your answers to protect feelings, will produce a blurry photograph rather than a clear one. A useful mirror is an accurate mirror.
Rate each statement from 1 to 5
1 Strongly disagree · 2 Disagree · 3 Neither agree nor disagree · 4 Agree · 5 Strongly agree
Then come back together
When you have both finished separately, sit down with a warm drink and walk through your scores side by side. Be curious, not defensive. The aim is not to be right — it is to understand each other a little better than you did half an hour ago.
Tell us who you are
Optional, but useful for the conversation that follows.
Are you Partner A or Partner B today?
Do you have children together?
This helps us tailor the assessment. There is one section specifically about parenting and family life that we'll only show if it applies to you.